In a Late Night Picture Show
by Cececat
Summary: Every Saturday, two best friends watch a different movie. After about six years of this they're really running out of films to watch. One day they find a copy of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and decide to watch it... then accidentally end up in the film itself. (Please Read/Review!)
1. Prologue: Science Fiction-Double Feature

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. **

* * *

**A/N: The first names of the main characters are a reference to Mort and Ysabel from _Mort_ by Terry Pratchett. Their last names are a reference to Will Riker and Deanna Troi from _Star Trek: TNG_.**

 **By the way, the movie they reference at the beginning is _T_ _he Star Wars Holiday Special._ It's horrifying. Yes, Carrie Fisher was very high and there actually was a scene that was basically Chewbacca's dad watching porn. **

* * *

Mort Riker and his good friend, Isabel Troi, were very bored.

They'd been searching through the many films in his parents basement for hours and they still hasn't found something to watch. This wasn't surprising, since they'd watched a film together every single Saturday since 5th grade. That meant about 53 movies over the past six years. Of course, they'd re-watched a few of the really good ones... but you can only see _Forbidden Planet_ so many times.

"What's this?" Isabel asked suddenly.

"Hmm?"

She held up a DVD case for him to see. It had very scandalous rep lips on it. 'A different set of jaws', the cover proclaimed.

"I haven't seen that before," Mort said slowly. "And I've gone through these boxes a million times..."

"It looks weird. Very weird," Isabel muttered. "Should we watch it? I don't know about you, but it doesn't look bad. Just weird. Anyway, it can't be any worse than that Christmas movie with the in-universe Wookiee porno and Carrie Fisher so high she can't remember filming it."

Mort shuddered at the memory. "I thought we vowed to never mention that… monstrosity again."

"I think we did."

They stood there in silence for a moment.

"Let's watch this movie, _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. It looks interesting enough. Going by the summary, it's Science Fiction," Isabel said. "And we both like Science Fiction.

"Going by the cover, it's not Science Fiction. Those lips don't look very Sci-Fi.

"They say one shouldn't judge a book by its cover."

Mort raised an eyebrow. "What does the summary say it's about?"

"A mad scientist from outer space, living on Earth in a castle, who builds a creature called Rocky Horror," she explained.

"Hmm. Doesn't sound too bad…"

"I wish we could go on an adventure like that. A mad scientist, a castle... how exciting!" Isabel said.

* * *

In a different dimension, two unpleasant goblins awoke.

"Did somebody say 'I wish'?" asked one.

"Yes," replied the other.

"Well, what was the rest of the sentence? What did they wish?"

"To go on an adventure like _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ , I think."

"Ha! That'll be a sight. I think they underestimate the power of crossdressing scientist from outer space. Maybe we should grant this wish, an they'll see what fools they are!"

"The King won't like this. Sending them to that dimension without his permission isn't something he'd approve of."

"Then don't tell him. Though I hear he knows the good doctor and wouldn't mind such a thing. Anyway, after the incident with Sasha-"

"Sara!"

"Whatever. After that he hasn't really been into personally meddling with mortals. Let's grant their wish!"

"Only if they say the right words."

* * *

"So you want to watch the movie?" Mort replied.

"Yes, I do."

Mort turned on the television and put the DVD in the player. A slowed-down version of the 20th century fox fanfare played. Then, a slow rock ballad began.

"There are those lips again," Mort said.

"Yes..."

Those red lips began to sing a song. Though the lips looked quite feminine, the voice singing was clearly a man's. If it weren't for the Science Fiction inspired song, he would've suspected that the film didn't involve anything Sci-Fi related. The names of some of the characters listed didn't sound right, for one thing.

"… _then something went wrong… for Fay Wray and King Kong… they got caught in a celluloid Jam… then, at a deadly pace, It Came From Outer Space… and this is how the message ran…"_

The song the lips sang mesmerized Isabel. As they sat there she stared at them as if hypnotized.

"… _Doctor X will build a creature… see androids fighting… Brad and Janet… Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet…"_

"We've seen that," Mort said.

Isabel didn't seem to hear him. That worried him quite a bit.

"I wish... I wish I could be in a Science Fiction..." she muttered.

* * *

"Sat it!" the two goblins hissed. "Say it right!"

* * *

" _At the late night... Double feature... Picture show... I wanna go... To the late night, double feature... Picture show_... _by RKO… at the late night, double feature, picture show… in the back row… to the late night double feature…"_

"I wanna be in the _Rocky horror_..." Isabel whispered.

" _Picture show._.." the lips finished.

Suddenly, there was a flash of white light, like lightning.

Suddenly, they weren't in Mort's basement anymore.

Suddenly, they weren't even in their own dimension…

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	2. Dammit Janet

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._**

 **A/N: A lot of this chapter is basically just what's in the movie (during the _Dammit Janet_ scene). Hopefully that isn't too boring. The next chapter is a bit more interesting, since it's what happens between _Dammit Janet_ and them driving. I'm pretty sure there's at least two hours (?) that are 'missing' from the movie. **

* * *

Mort and Isabel both awoke sitting on the grass outside a small church.

There seemed to be quite a bit of commotion. Lots of people in pastel colored clothing standing around a brunette woman in a wedding dress. Oh, _that's_ what it was.

That woman had just married someone. But who? Probably the man in the white suit. Yes, people seemed very interested in talking to the man in the white suit. It sounded like they were all congratulating him.

"We're in the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ ," Isabel muttered, still quite dazed.

He stared at her in confusion. "How would you know? You haven't ever seen it!"

"I'm not sure how I know. I just… do."

Mort stood up and looked around, Judging by a nearby billboard sign, they happened to be somewhere called Denton.

Denton was the home of happiness, apparently.

Unsure what else to do, Mort sort of hid amongst the nearby trees. It seemed nobody had noticed them yet. Hopefully things would stay that way. As Mort tried to figure out how to go home by thinking, Isabel decided to be a bit more direct about things.

She walked over to where the bride stood. Quite a few other women stood there, talking about something. It seemed like they were talking how excited they all were or gushing over the bride's dress.

Timidly, Isabel tapped a random guest on the shoulder. A blonde woman in a blue dress.

"Um, excuse me... my friend and went out hiking and got lost. Do you think-"

The sound of another of the woman squealing 'I got it! I got it!' cut Isabel off mid-sentence. The woman in blue wandered off without even acknowledging Isabel.

That's when Isabel began to worry that these people couldn't see her. Maybe whatever magic sent them into the movie made them invisible.

Of course the guest were all too busy chasing after the newlyweds' car to pay attention to anything else. Except for those two standing on the church steps. The blonde woman in the lavender dress who'd caught the bride's bouquet and a man wearing a suit with an awful plaid bowtie.

"Oh, Brad wasn't it wonderful! Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful?" the woman said happily.

So the bride's name was Betty! Not that it really mattered to Isabel.

"Oh, I can't believe it. Just an hour ago she was plain old Betty Munroe and now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt!" the woman said with a dreamy sigh.

"Yes, Janet, Ralph's a lucky guy," the man replied.

They began to walk away from the church. Isabel wanted to follow them, since they probably wouldn't see her.

At that point Isabel _did_ feel rather creepy, eavesdropping like this. But the lady in the black dress and that man with the pitchfork were, too…

She quietly, slowly followed Brad and Janet as they walked into the graveyard.

"Uh, everyone knows that Betty's a wonderful little cook," Brad said.

"Yes," Janet said.

"Why, Ralph himself, he'll be in line for a promotion in a year or two."

"Yes."

That's when Isabel began to wonder what year it was. Maybe the 1950s? Going by the way they seemed to think, it was the 50s. They woman all wore hats, too.

Suddenly, Isabel realized that, even though there wasn't an orchestra or anything nearby, background music could be heard. Well, it _was_ a musical. This _proved_ they were in the movie!

"Hey Janet," Brad said, suddenly.

"Yes, Brad?"

"I've got something to say…"

"Uh-huh?"

"I really loved the… skillful way. You… beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet!

Janet blushed. "Oh, Brad!"

Then, Brad began to sing. " _The River was deep but I swam it_!

" _Janet_ ," the man with the pitchfork sang.

" _The future is ours, so lets plan it_!" Brad sang, running toward the church,

" _Janet_ ," Isabel and the pitchfork man sang.

" _So, please don't tell me to can it_!"

" _Janet_."

" _I've one thing to say and that's dammit, Janet… I love you_!"

Janet leaned in to kiss Brad, but he began to sing again. They were so cute together that Isabel hoped that, one day, they'd get a wedding just as nice as Ralph and Betty's!

" _The Road was long but I ran it!_ "

" _Janet._ "

Now Brad stood right in front of the church.

" _There's a fire in my heart, and you fan it!_ "

 _"Janet._ "

Though she still stood away from the church, Brad stood on the steps.

" _If there's one fool for you then I am it_!"

" _Janet._ "

" _I've one thing to say and that's dammit, Janet…_ " he drew a heart on the church door. " _I love you!"_

Janet ran up to the steps, and Brad picked her up and spun her around.

It took quite a bit of self-control for Isabel to not start squealing about how adorable they were together. So she stayed far enough away to avoid interrupting what came next: the proposal. Of course, she still believed that they couldn't see her. Though she began to worry about whether or not they could hear her.

" _Here's the ring to prove that I'm no joker!_ "

Janet seemed very excited now. Who wouldn't be?

" _There's three ways that love can go! That's good, bad, or mediocre!_ "

Janet and Isabel were equally excited by then. Of course, since she was the one being proposed to, it was Janet who had the right to be excited. So excited, in fact, that she accidentally dropped the ring.

" _J-A-N-E-T, I love you so!_ " Brad sang, putting the ring on her finger.

She ran into the church. Brad and Isabel quickly followed her.

 _"Oh! It's nicer than Betty Munroe had!_

 _"Oh Brad,_ " sang the three church helpers and Isabel.

That's when the pitchfork man began to suspect that Isabel wasn't with Brad and Janet. Something about her, he realized, seemed wrong. Though he didn't stop singing his part in the song.

 _"Now we're engages, and I'm so glad!"_

 _"Oh Brad,"_

 _"That you've met mom, and you know dad."_

 _"Oh Brad."_

 _"There's one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad, for you too!"_

To avoid saying something about how sweet this all was, Isabel bit her lip. Her habit of wishing she was somebody else was causing a bit of trouble.

Being stuck in her own mind meant she missed a few lines

" _I love you toooooo…"_

 _"There's one thing left to do!"_ Brad and Janet sang together.

They were about to kiss, when he moved away and began to sing again.

" _And that's go see the-_ "

"Just kiss her already!" Isabel said, a bit too loudly.

That's when she learned that she wasn't actually invisible. They just weren't paying enough attention.

"Who are you?" he asked. "And what do you want?"

"Never mind…" Isabel muttered. "I'm sorry I interrupted. Carry on."

" _Let's go see the man who began it."_

 _"Janet."_

 _When we met in his Science exam it."_

 _"Janet."_

 _"Made me give you the eye, and then panic."_

 _"I've got one thing to say and that's_

 _"Dammit Janet…"_

 _"Oh, Brad, I'm mad…"_

 _"Dammit, Janet…"_

 _"I love you!"_ they sang together.

Then they kissed.

"What was it you wanted, again?" Brad asked.

Isabel blushed. "Nothing. You two are so adorable together I just had to… sorry."

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	3. When the Camera Isn't Rolling

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N:** **I'm watching various scenes as I write this, though this chapter isn't based on anything from the film, so I'm a bit worried about Brad and Janet being out of character. Hopefully it's okay.**

* * *

"Why are you here, Miss? I haven't seen you around and this _is_ the church I go to every Sunday," Janet. "I though you were one of the people working here, but now that I think about it you aren't…"

"My friend and I got lost while hiking," Isabel lied. "I was going to ask for directions or something, but then I got distracted."

"Your friend?" Brad asked.

"Yes. I don't know where he is now, though."

At that very moment, Mort walked into the church. "Isabel! Where have you been?"

"Here. Why?"

"Is this your friend?" Janet asked timidly.

"Yes. That's Mort. I'm Isabel, by the way. Sorry that I didn't introduce myself earlier," Isabel said awkwardly.

"Well, we didn't introduce ourselves either. I'm Brad Majors and this is my fiancé Janet Weiss," Brad replied.

"Good to meet you," Mort replied, not really meaning it.

Unlike Isabel, he's read the opening credits. He knew that the main characters were named Brad Majors and Janet Weiss. Now he had proof that they actually were in the movie.

"So, do you kids still need directions?" Brad asked.

"Well, we'd just like a ride into town. We can probably figure things out from there," Isabel replied awkwardly. "I've got lots of cousins living in this area."

"Why don't you kids come with us to the diner and we can discuss things over dinner?" Brad said.

"I doubt we'll be able to pay you back," Mort pointed out.

"Don't worry about it. The diner isn't took expensive," Brad replied kindly. "And we were planning to go there anyway."

And so, the four of them got into the car. The 'kids' got in the back seat, while Brad and Janet sat in the driver's and passengers seats (respectively). Then they drove away.

Nobody spoke as they made the short journey from the church to the town of Denton. It would've been too awkward.

Soon enough they'd parked in the parking lot of an old 1950s-style diner. Before they got out of the car, Brad began to speak.

"So, kids-"

"Can you stop calling us 'kids'?" Mort asked. "I'm 17 and she's 16."

"Don't be rude, Mort," Isabel muttered.

"Anyway, where're you from?" Brad asked us. "You never gave an exact town."

"Falls Church, Virginia," Isabel explained, hoping it was near Denton.

"That's about five hours away," Janet said, shocked. "Brad, that's where my Auntie Kathy lives."

"Yes, I remember. Very far away," he replied, nodding.

The four of them sat in the car in silence. Nobody really knew what to do.

"What are you two doing all the way in Ohio?" Janet asked, looking quite worried.

"It's a long story and, even if we told you, you'd never believe a word of it," Mort said.

"Oh," Janet replied nervously.

"Why don't you two get dinner now. It's only about 5:30, isn't it?" Isabel said.

After glancing at the car's clock, Brad nodded. "Yes, it's 5:30. You know, I thought it was much later than that."

Janet pursed her lips. "Maybe we should go back to your place and change into casual clothes before we go eat. I don't want to get this dress dirty, and that suit you're wearing is very expensive. Then we can also call their parents."

"That's not even possible," Mort muttered under his breath.

Fortunately, nobody heard him.

Brad apparently lived in a small house that looked exactly like every other house on the street. Those sorts of neighborhoods always frightened Isabel. It gave her the impression that these people wanted to be boring, like Harry Potter's Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon.

Once Brad parked the car in the driveway they all got out.

"So, what should _we_ do? Wait out here?" Mort asked sullenly.

"It looks like it's going to rain. I think you'd better come inside," Brad replied.

It was quite awkward, going into a complete stranger's house. Isabel held onto Mort's jacket sleeve as they entered the place. The foyer was tidy and had one of those funny, spiky things you hang hats or coats from in the corner. The walls were painted a nice shade of off-white.

"You two better wait in the living room," Brad said.

They all stood there for a moment in awkward silence.

"The living room is there," Janet explained, pointing to a nearby doorway.

"Sorry," Isabel muttered.

And so, Mort and Isabel entered the living room. Neither felt comfortable sitting down on one of the nice fluffy couches. They just stood there.

"How do we escape the movie? How do we leave?" Mort asked.

"I'm not sure. Though I _do_ think we should avoid mentioning the fact that this is a movie. Telling the other characters will probably cause something awful to happen," his friend replied.

Mort rolled his eyes. "What could happen? I mean, this clearly isn't a Sci-Fi movie. Though, so far, we've only met two characters. And there are only three characters with normal names."

"Do you remember any of the names?" Isabel asked.

"Well, not really. I think there's somebody called Magenta. Though I'm probably remembering wrong, since nobody is named Magenta – especially in a movie about a couple from the 1950s," he replied.

Isabel raised an eyebrow. "I thought you read the opening credits?"  
He sighed. "I did. Though I paid more attention to actor names than characters. You know Tim Curry is in this somewhere. That's the guy who played Wadsworth the butler in _Clue_."

"Really? Who else is here?" Isabel asked.

"A bunch of actors I've never heard of, the chick who played John Cleese's wife in _Meaning of Life_ , Meat Loaf-"

"The singer?"

"I guess. How strange is that?" Mort replied.

Now they were both laughing. Laughing at the sheer _weirdness_ of knowing who played the various characters in the film they now were a part of.

Brad and Janet then returned to the room dressed in 'normal clothes'.

"We're going to dinner now and we've decided to let you go with us," Brad told them.

"That's very kind of you," Isabel said.

"Thank you," Mort added, after Isabel elbowed him.

As they got in the car Isabel began to think about the clothes Brad and Janet now wore. Brad had replaced his suit with grayish-blue trousers, a button down shirt, and a blue sweater. On top of that he wore a brown jacket. Janet's 'new' dress was much shorter the knee-length dress she'd worn before, making Isabel suspect that it wasn't the 1950s. But asking about the year would look too suspicious, so she didn't say anything.

"So, kids… we're planning on taking you with us when we visit Dr. Scott," Brad told them, as they drove back to the diner.

"Who?" Mort asked.

"An old professor of ours," Janet explained. "The one we're planning on telling about the engagement tonight."

Nobody spoke for the rest of the drive to the diner. Not that it took very long, of course. Quite soon they were in the parking lot of the diner. Again.

"Everybody out," Brad said.

They all exited the car and stood there pointlessly for a moment. Then Brad led the others into the diner.

"What time is it?" Janet asked, as they waited for a table.

Brad looked down at his watch. "It's 7:30. Dammit, I'd hoped to be at Scotty's by nine!"

"It takes two hours to drive," Janet told the kids, before they could ask.

"Oh," Isabel said.

"Brad isn't very good at organization. I'm always having to help with remembering appointments and things," Janet whispered to Isabel.

Unsure what else to do, Isabel laughed awkwardly. Mort looked at her in confusion.

"Let's just get dinner, then. If we finish by eight, we'll at least get there ten," Janet said nervously.

Alas, they didn't get a table until about ten past eight.

And they didn't leave the diner until nine.

"At this rate not much more can go wrong," Brad said, as the left the parking lot. "Right?"

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	4. Over at the Frankenstein Place

**A/N: Thanks for the review, Guest!**

 **Hopefully this chapter's formatting isn't confusing. The fact that Mort and Isabel can hear some of the callbacks is very important to the story.**

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They hit some really bad traffic soon after they left town. This – combined with the ominous thunderstorm – made everyone a bit nervous. Isabel and Mort were especially worried, since they also were trying to think of ways to leave the movie. Since they were in a rather small car with Brad and Janet obviously in earshot, it wasn't a good idea to say anything

After a while, Brad put a cassette tape in the car's player. By then it was about 9:45.

"Whenever Brad is nervous, he plays that cassette tape," Janet explained. "Isn't that right, dear?"

"Can you please stop explaining various aspects of my life to the kids, Janet?" Brad grumbled.

He was clearly in a bad mood. But, since it was justified, nobody pointed out how rude he was being.

When the cassette began to play, Isabel raised an eyebrow. She'd expected music to play.

"What is this?" she whispered to Mort.

"Richard Nixon's resignation speech," he explained.

At least they knew the decade now: the 1970s. Not that either really cared. By then all they wanted to do was go home.

"You kids can go to sleep or something now. We've at least got an hour until we'll be at Dr. Scott's and it's almost 10:30 now," Brad said.

"Good idea," Isabel muttered.

Mort and Isabel quickly fell asleep. It had been a _very_ long day.

* * *

They awoke to the sound of Janet shriek: "What was that bang?"

… _gang bang …_

"We must have a blowout. Dammit! I _knew_ I should've gotten that spare tire fixed," Brad said.

… _asshole_!...

Brad didn't seem to hear the voice, and continued speaking. "Well, you three just stay here and keep warm while I go for help."

"Where will you go?" Janet asked nervously. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

After pondering this for a moment, Brad's face lit up with an idea. "Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?"

Janet nodded.

"Maybe they have a telephone I could use!" Brad said brightly.

… _castles don't have telephones, asshole_!...

Mort was slowly beginning to believe he was going insane. Yes, why else would he be hearing voices? And, ever stranger, why did these voices use such foul language?

"I'm going with you," Janet said.

"Oh, no, darling… there's no sense in both of us getting wet!"

"I'm coming with you," Janet told him.

… _that'll be a first_ …

"And we're going to. You can't just leave us here unsupervised," Mort said.

Neither of the adults seemed to hear him for some reason. Probably since he wasn't really part of the movie.

Janet chuckled. "Besides, darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman-"

… _he is_ …

"- And you might never come back again!"

They both laughed as the got out of the car. Mort and Isabel didn't even smile, since both were very worried now. They'd be going to a castle. The film's summary said that there was a mad scientist from outer space living in a castle. Now they were actually quite scared.

… _buy an umbrella, you cheap bitch_!...

Isabel winced at the insult even though it wasn't directed at her. Just because Janet was using a newspaper to keep the rain off her hair didn't make her cheap. At first, Isabel had thought that the mysterious voice was really just Mort muttering under his breath. But she soon realized that it wasn't.

"You heard that, too?" Mort whispered.

"Yes. What do you think is going on?"

He shrugged. "It's probably just part of the story, like the music."

They began to jog after Brad and Janet, who'd begun walking a bit earlier. After what seemed like hours (but was only about forty-five minutes), everyone stood outside the gate to the castle. Then, as they walked through the gate, a song started up.

Janet sang the first verse: _"In the velvet darkness, of the blackest night… burning bright… there's a guiding star! No matter what or who you are…"_

 _"There's a light…"_

 _"Over at the Frankenstein place!"_ an unseen chorus sang.

 _"There's a light…"_

 _"Burning in the fire place..."_

 _"There's a light… light… in the darkness, of everybody's life!"_

" _I can see the flag fly, I can see the rain… just the same. There has got to be something better for you and me!"_ Mort sang, to his own surprise as well as everyone else's.

 _"There's a light…_

 _"Over at the Frankenstein place!"_

 _"There's a light…"_

 _"Burning in the fire place..."_

 _"There's a light… light… in the darkness, of everybody's life!_

Then, Mort and Isabel noticed a light in one of the castle's many windows. There stood a person who began to sing. The fact that the person's voice could be heard so well from this far away frightened Isabel. She decided it must just be part of the movie's 'magic'.

" _The darkness must flow … Down the river of nights dreaming… Flow, morphia slow let the sun and light … Come streaming into my life…"_ sang the mysterious person.

 _"Into my life…"_ sang the chorus.

 _"There's a light…"_

 _"Over at the Frankenstein place!"_

 _"There's a light…"_

 _"Burning in the fire place..."_

 _"There's a light… light… in the darkness, of everybody's life!"_

Somehow, they now stood right in front of the castle's door. Isabel realized they'd all been so busy singing that they'd forgotten what they were actually supposed to be doing.

"Brad, let's go back. I'm cold and I'm frightened!"

"I think we're all cold, Miss Weiss. But only you happen to be complaining. Please stop," Mort said.

"Be nice," Isabel muttered, elbowing him.

"Let's just hope the people who own the house have a phone," Brad said, forcing a smile.

… _castles don't have telephones, asshole_!...

Brad rang the doorbell.

Hardly a second later a frightful looking person with red-rimmed eyes and stringy blond hair opened the door. He wore a tattered suit and had a decidedly evil look about him.

"Hello," he said in

"Hi! My name's Brad Majors-"

… _asshole!_...

"-and this is my fiancée, Janet Weiss."

… _slut!_ …

"And we're Mort and Isabel," Mort added.

Still smiling, Brad went on. "I was wondering if you might help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road. Do you have a phone we might use?"

The odd man stared at them for a while and then said in his usual monotone: "You're wet."

… _she's always wet_ …

Isabel winced, glad that only she and Mort could hear the voices.

"Yes, it's raining," Janet said nervously.

"Yes," said Brad.

"Yes," Mort added.

"Yes…" agreed the odd man.

Suddenly, lightning lit up the sky and a great clash of thunder could be heard. They all noticed the many motorcycles parked nearby. Before anything else could be said, the odd blond man spoke.

"I think perhaps you better both come inside…"

"You're too kind," Janet said nervously.

"Thanks," Isabel added.

* * *

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	5. Time Warp and Sweet Transvestite

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

 **A/N: So, the first couple chapters were the movie practically word for word. Sorry about that. Starting at about the end of this chapter, Mort and Isabel will be trying to figure out how to 'escape' the movie.**

* * *

Brad, Janet, Mort, and Isabel then entered the strange house.

It looked nice enough at first glance. Once you saw the taxidermy animals and a number of other oddities – especially that live-sized doll draped over the staircase's banister – it begins to worry you. What sorts of people live in such a place?

After a moment, Janet spoke.

"Brad, I'm frightened! What kind of place is this?"

"Oh, it's probably just some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos," he replied.

"Oh."

Mort nodded in agreement. "You'd have to be rich to afford some of this… stuff."

Suddenly, they heard the ominous clicking sound of the front door being locked.

"This way," the odd blond man told them.

He began to lead them away from the door and farther

"Does anyone else hear music?" Mort asked.

"Yes. Oh, are do you think they're having a party?" Isabel whispered.

" _Are_ you having a party?" Janet asked the odd man.

Looking rather annoyed, he stopped walking and turned around.

"You've arrive on a rather special night. It's one of the Master's… affairs.

"Oh, how nice," Mort

"Lucky him," Janet said nervously, probably embarrassed by the teenager's rude behavior.

It was then that they realized that the doll draped over the banister wasn't a doll. No, merely a person _very_ good at standing still.

She came to life at that very moment.

"You're lucky… he's lucky…. I'm lucky… we're allllll _llllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccckkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy_!"

Laughing wildly, the not-doll slid down the banister and threw her feather duster at the odd blonde man.

Then, a coffin-shaped clock began to chime. It was apparently midnight. To Mort's annoyance, another song began…

… _show us Leonard Nimoy_ …

The odd blond man opened up the coffin-clock to reveal a skeleton. Mort knew that it wasn't Leonard Nimoy, since Leonard Nimoy died in 2015. So the voices were either very stupid or from the future.

The blond man soon began to sing.

" _It's astounding. Time is… fleeting. Madness takes its toll."_

Mort realized that this person was most likely insane. Nobody owns a clock with a skeleton in it. Madness seemed to have taken its toll on this guy's looks too, Mort thought.

" _But listen closely…"_ the crazy man said.

 _"Not for very much longer…"_ sang the not-doll.

 _"I've got to keep control…"_

Then the blond man went from sort-of singing to a full out rock scream style. This startled Mort.

As he sang, he ran through the room.  
The not-doll forced everyone to follow him.

 _"I remember, doing the time warp! Drinking those moments when… the blackness would hit me…"_

At that point, the man somehow got behind Brad, Janet, Mort, and Isabel. The not-doll chased them into another room.

 _"…and the void would be calling…_ "

They burst through a doorway and found themselves in a room full of strangely dressed partygoers. Mort really didn't like it. Of course, he really didn't like most things. But this… this was a bit too much.

These people were all dressed similarly, yet also looked very different. And they were dancing. Wasn't it midnight? By then Mort had an awful headache and didn't feel like doing anything but leaning against a nearby wall.

Isabel, on the other hand, wasn't so annoyed. Though the people dancing looked rather strange, she didn't mind it.

Poor Janet reacted the most pathetically. She fainted quite dramatically only moments after they'd entered the room.

" _…and then a step to the right…"_

Something about the song made one's feet disobey one's brain. It wanted to control you, force you to dance along. Isabel shuddered. Such a thing scared her quite a bit.

Soon enough the song was over. All the oddly dressed people collapsed to the floor.

"Say!" said Brad. "Do any of you guys know how to Madison?"

Janet rolled her eyes. "Let's go."

They began to walk towards the doorway, debating something. Mort was too tired to listen to each word. Yet he and Isabel still followed them… until they saw the elevator.

"Something bad is going to happen now. I've seen enough films to know what happens next. There's a vampire or a serial killer hiding in that elevator. We're screwed," Mort muttered, now really panicking.

Indeed, when she saw the person on the elevator, Janet screamed in terror.

Mort's response, on the other hand, was less dramatic and _much_ less polite: "What. The. Fuck."

The person wore a vampire-ish cape that covered everything but his heavily made-up face and carefully styled hair.

The person smiled like the Cheshire cat. Then, to Mort's annoyance, he began to sing…

"How _do you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman! He's a little brought down because, when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman!"_

Then he walked – strutted, more like – toward the crowd of oddly dressed partygoers. They seemed very excited, especially the girl with the pink hair and the gold top hat.

" _Don't get strung out! By the way I look. Don't judge a book by its cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of day… but by night I'm one hell of a lover!"_

Mort didn't like the sound of that. No, he happened to be perfectly heterosexual and didn't want to hear any of-

" _I'm just a sweet transvestite!_ "

Away went the cloak, revealing an awfully risqué outfit. Mort was so horrified he couldn't help but stare with his mouth agape.

" _From Transsexual, Transylvania…"_

This made no sense. That wasn't even a place, was it?

Mort was so busy staring at the man's se- _awful_ outfit that he barely noticed that they'd been invited to stay for the night (among other things).

As the strangely dressed man sang, both Mort and Isabel heard those voices again.

" _I could show you my favorite obsession…"_

 _… sex_…

"… _I've been making a man, with blond hair and a tan. And he's good fo_ r _relieving my…"_

… _sexual_...

" _…tension. I'm just as sweet transvestite. From Transsexual, Transylvania. Haha!"_

Then he walked back over to the elevator. Brad, Janet, Mort, and Isabel followed him.

"So," he said, smiling. "Come up to the lab... and see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici-"

… _what would_ Rocky Horror _be without audience partici_ -…

"-pation."

So those voices were the voices of fans engaging in some sort of audience participation viewing of this movie? That seemed to make sense, Mort realized. Then, he remembered that he'd heard of a movie in which people go dressed up and shout call-and-response dialogue. His cousin Emily really liked that sort of thing. Yes, she'd once tried to dress him up as one of the characters...

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	6. Escape

**Disclaimer: I don't own _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**

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 **A/N: Thanks for reviewing, Guest and SweetandSour46853!**

 **This is the chapter in which things get _really_ weird...**

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"What are you doing, Mort?" Isabel hissed.

That's when he realized he'd been standing there staring at the elevator for quite a while, even though the oddly dressed man wasn't there anymore.

"I'm just thinking. Wondering, more like…" he muttered.

"Wondering how to leave?" Isabel asked, smiling sadly.

"Yeah."

Suddenly, the girl in the gold top hat began to violently dry Isabel's hair off with a bloodstained rag. A moment later, she moved on to Mort.

The strange blond man and the not-doll were doing the same to Janet and Brad.

For some reason, the girl with the top hat began to whisper to Mort and Isabel. "I heard you kids talking about leaving, and I think that's a good idea. The guy who owns this castle-"

"We aren't talking about leaving the _castle_ , we meant leaving the movie we're stuck in!" Mort growled.

"Movie?" the girl said, raising an eyebrow.

After a minute an expression of horror appeared on her face.

"Something tells me that that's true and my whole life is something invented by another person out of boredom. You saying that simple sentence made me realize that everything is just- _Ow_ , my brain hurts now…"

"Columbia? Get over here!" the not-doll said, handing Janet's sweater to her.

"What kind of name is Columbia?" Mort asked.

" _Her_ name, apparently," Isabel replied.

"Her name, apparently," Isabel replied.

Though it took them a minute to notice, they soon realized that Columbia was babbling on and on bout the world being a film.

"Oh, shit. Now everyone is going to know what's going on," muttered Mort.

Thankfully, nobody seemed to be paying any attention to her. Brad and Janet were too busy panicking over the fact that the not-doll and the creepy blond guy were undressing them. Of course, the not-doll and weird blond were too busy undressing Brad and Janet.

For some crazed reason unknown to the still-sane Mort, Brad decided to introduce himself to everyone. Again.

"Hi, my name is Brad Majors-"

… _asshole_ …

"Who said that?" he asked, looking quite angry.

Mort sighed. "The audience. You can hear them now?"

"Ve _all_ can, I think," the not-doll said darkly.

"Who are they?" Janet asked.

"The audience. Those people dressed up as you guys who're currently shouting call-and-response dialogue at a screen."

Now that he was forcing himself to think about it, Mort remembered this movie. He had gone with his cousin Emily, even though she hadn't managed to make him dress him up like Eddie. The reason he didn't remember the movie, he realized, was that the audience was very distracting. And they'd gotten there late.

"What happens now?" "Does the story stop, or-"

"I don't know! Mr. Majors, keep introducing yourself and Miss Weiss again."

"Hi! My name is Brad Majors-

… _asshole_ …

"And this is my fiancée, Janet Weiss."

… _slut_ …

"I'm not a slut!" she shrieked. "You stupid audience people, I'm not! I'm a _good_ girl!"

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The entire movie theater had gone quiet. Nobody knew what to do. The film had been playing as usual… then suddenly _this_. They'd said a perfectly normal line and then Janet had somehow heard them…

That didn't make any sense, and _everyone_ knew it.

"Is this a _joke_?" somebody shouted.

"I've heard a rumor that the manager wanted to stop midnight showings, but who thought he'd go this far?"

"How does it work, even?"

"Dunno. And now it looks like the thing's paused!"

Suddenly, there was a flash of light – not unlike lightning – and everyone was temporarily rendered unconscious.

* * *

Some time later, everyone in the theater awoke. At that point the movie began to play as normal again. Nobody really even seemed to know something had happened.

Unless, of course, they saw the five very confused people waking up in the corner.

Brad and Janet – both in their underwear – were quite horrified to find themselves in a movie theater full of people. They didn't even notice the screen for a while. Columbia was still having some sort of crazy blue-screen-of-death panic attack and therefore hardly realized where she was. Isabel and Mort were just glad to be back in their own world.

"We're on that screen!" Janet hissed, pointing to the film.

"Yes. In our underwear," Brad replied, looking a bit ill. "At least I'm still wearing my undershirt in real life."

Only one person had noticed them at that point.

"Shh!" she hissed, not even looking at them.

Then, suddenly, she _really_ looked at them. All five of them.

"Mort?"

" _Emily_?" he replied. "I'm glad to see you. Can you help us quietly escape without anyone noticing?"

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"I'll explain later. Just hurry!"

Somehow, they all managed to slip through the door on the side of the movie theater. Then, they were in a hallway lined with posters of various movies from decades past.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Emily asked, crossing her arms.

"We accidentally went into the movie earlier this afternoon. Mort and I kept hearing these voices and we figured out that it was the audience. While we were trying to think of a way to get out, Columbia overheard us and figured out that her life is really a movie. Then, Brad and Janet began to hear the audience. Janet heard the audience insulting her and then got angry. Only seconds later we ended up out here," Isabel explained.

"Weird as that sounds, I'm pretty sure I have to believe you given the circumstances. We've got three fictional characters standing right here with us," Emily said. "And we're going to be practical about it all."

"How is one 'practical' when it comes to _anything_ involving characters who've escaped from a 1970s cult musical? How?" Mort asked, looking a bit crazy.

"First things first, just find Janet and I some real clothes!" Brad shouted.

"Right," Emily muttered nervously.

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